Jolivet, Muriel. 1997. Japan: The Childless Society? Routledge: New York

Chap 1. Young Mother's Dilemma

The Anguish of Ordinary Women (Asahi Shimbun, 9/13/89)

• "I can't bear it when they won't leave me alone to read the paper"
• "No one ever disturbs men when they're working, everyone presumes that mothers 'are enjoying themselves'..."
• ..."when we apply ourselves solely to caring for our children, we still do sometimes regard them as a nuisance..."
• This mother is in a dilemma
• can't rid herself of the notion that she is the only one capable of looking after her children
• it's difficult for her to forgive herself for 'abandoning' her children to her husband on Sunday to have time to herself
• unthinkable to leave them at a daycare center or with a babysitter

Problems

1. Housework unfulfilling

2. Time raising kids seems to be lost time in life

3. Today being a housewife is alienating

4. Today mothers have become 'educational' providers to their kids not 'productive' members of a larger family (note the continuing myth of the non-nuclear family in the 'glorious' past)

Okaasan Gambareron ("Keep Going Mother")

Collection of entreaties from other mothers reaffirming traditions with slight modern twist

1) None suggest a job as a way out

2) Modern women are seen as unwilling to sacrifice

3) By fully devoting ourselves we can fulfill our "Duty" this is how one attains contentment

Oketani School of Breastfeeding

Two or three years of breastfeeding is nothing given current life expectancy

All the above approaches emphasize that:

• Persevere: Urges Slow and steady wins the race
• Don't be sever: Be clever dupe your children into submission
• Culture centers and "housewife" courses encouraged
• Father's help okay but not outside help
• actually fathers help-out an average of 8 minutes/day at home

GAMBATTE keep on!

Total isolation the Malaise of new residential developments

1. Isolation: The feeling of being isolated and trapped among thousands of others in sterile new high-rises with NO FRIENDS

• note how best Friends are made in high school or college years, only

2. Marginalized: Stay on schedule

• even more isolating is marrying too young
• or waiting until too old
• don't be marginalized, then you will have nothing in common with friends

3. Inadequacy: Small families, strict privacy, and pressures

• strict scheduling (both schooling and working) in Japanese lives means little opportunity to be with kids before the baby arrives

• "children have a special way of crying that makes you want to runaway"